What Does My Body Actually Need? (and How To Listen)
What Does My Body Actually Need (And How To Listen)
Let me ask you something.
When was the last time you actually checked in with yourself and asked: "What do I need right now?"
Not what you should need. Not what would make you a better nurse, a better partner, a better human.
What does your body - your actual body, right now - need?
If you're drawing a blank, you're not broken. You're conditioned.
Why Nurses Stop Listening to Their Own Needs
Here's what happens:
You spend 12+ hours overriding every signal your body sends.
You're thirsty? Too bad, no time. You need to pee? Hold it. You're hungry? Eat standing up in 3 minutes. Your back hurts? Push through. You're exhausted? Two more patients just showed up.
Your body learns: what I need doesn't matter. What matters is the task in front of me.
So when you finally get off the floor, get home, collapse on the couch and someone asks "what do you need?"
You have no idea.
Because you've been trained to ignore the signal, override the need, and keep moving.
And then we wonder why we can't sleep. Why we're anxious. Why we feel disconnected from our own bodies.
You can't rest in a body you've been ignoring all day.
The Problem With "Intentions" in Wellness Culture
Let's be real about how intentions usually get taught in wellness spaces.
It's all:
"Set your intention for the day"
"What do you want to manifest?"
"Visualize your best self"
And if you're a nurse running on fumes? That feels like one more thing you're supposed to do perfectly.
Here's what I mean by tapping into your intentions:
It's not about setting goals. It's about actually listening to what your body is asking for and then doing that thing.
Not what Instagram says you should do. Not what your nursing school professor told you makes a "good nurse." Not what some influencer says is "self-care."
What does YOUR body actually need right this second?
The Difference Between "Should" Needs and Actual Needs
Let me give you some examples of how this shows up:
"Should" need: I should do yoga for 30 minutes because that's what helps with stress.
Actual need: My body is buzzing and needs to move even if it's just shaking out my hands for 60 seconds.
"Should" need: I should meal prep healthy food for the week.
Actual need: I need to eat something right now because I'm shaky and haven't eaten in 8 hours.
"Should" need: I should go to bed early tonight.
Actual need: I need to sit in silence for 10 minutes before I try to sleep because my nervous system is still wired from the shift.
"Should" need: I should be grateful and stop complaining.
Actual need: I need to say out loud that today was hard and I'm pissed off about unsafe staffing.
See the difference?
"Should" comes from external expectations.
Actual needs come from listening to what's true right now.
How to Hear What You Need In This Moment
This isn't complicated. But it does require you to pause for a moment, which might be the hardest part.
Step 1: Stop moving for 10 seconds
Literally. Stop what you're doing.
Put your phone down. Step away from the task. Pause the mental to do list activity.
Just stop.
Step 2: Ask yourself the question
"What do I actually need right now?"
And then wait. Don't rush to answer with what you think you're supposed to say.
Let your body speak up.
Step 3: Listen for the first thing that comes up
Not the second thing. Not the "responsible" thing. The first thing.
It might be:
Water
To pee (seriously, when was the last time you peed?)
To sit down
To take 3 deep breaths
To say no to one thing
To eat something
To move your body
To be quiet
To cry
To leave on time
Step 4: Do that one thing
Not five things. One.
You don't have to fix everything. You don't have to overhaul your entire life.
Just do the one thing your body asked for.
That's the practice.
Why This Matters for Sleep (And Everything Else)
Here's what most sleep advice gets wrong:
It tells you to create a bedtime routine. To dim the lights. To avoid screens.
All of that can help.
But if you've spent the entire day ignoring your body's signals, overriding your needs, and pushing through exhaustion, your nervous system doesn't trust you.
So when you finally try to sleep, your body doesn't believe you when you say "we're done now."
Your nervous system is still on high alert because it learned today(and all the days before) that safety means staying activated.
Tapping into your needs throughout the day - checking in, asking what you need, actually doing one small thing - teaches your body that you're listening.
And when your body learns to trust that you're listening throughout the day, it's more willing to let go at night.
Small Ways to Practice This
You don't need a meditation cushion or a fancy spa day.
You can practice this anywhere:
In the car before your shift: Ask: "What do I need before I walk in there?" Maybe it's three slow breaths. Maybe it's a minute of silence. Maybe it's your favorite song turned up loud.
During your shift (if you get 30 seconds): Ask: "What does my body need right now?" Maybe it's water. Maybe it's to soften your shoulders. Maybe it's to actually pee.
After your shift: Ask: "What do I need before I do anything else?" Maybe it's to sit in your car for 5 minutes. Maybe it's to change out of your scrubs immediately. Maybe it's to not talk to anyone for 10 minutes.
Before bed: Ask: "What would help me to feel settled right now?" Maybe it's a warm shower. Maybe it's journaling for 3 minutes. Maybe it's gentle stretching. Maybe it's just permission to be tired without fixing it.
The point isn't to do it perfectly. The point is to ask the question and listen.
What Gets in the Way
Let me guess what you're thinking:
"I don't have time for this."
This takes 10 seconds. You have time to ask the question. You might not have time to do a full self care routine, but you absolutely have time to drink water or take three intentional breaths.
"My needs don't matter as much as everyone else's needs."
Your needs and your patients' needs aren't in competition. You can't pour from an empty cup, and all that. But more importantly: you're a human being. Your needs matter. Period.
"I don't even know what I need anymore."
Oh girl!! I see you. It's okay. Start by asking the question anyway. Even if the answer is "I have no idea," that's information. Keep asking. Your body will start answering.
"This feels selfish."
Taking care of yourself so you don't burn out and leave nursing entirely? That's not selfish. That's how we create balance in life.
The Real Intention
This practice is not meant to be done perfectly.
It's not about doing everything right.
It's about remembering that you have a body, and that body has needs, and those needs are worth listening to.
Even when it's inconvenient. Even when it's hard. Even when you've been trained to override them.
You don't have to fix everything today.
Just ask the question: "What do I actually need right now?"
Then do one thing.
That's the practice.
And if you do that, if you practice listening to what your body is actually asking for instead of what you think you should need...everything else starts to shift.
Including sleep.
What do you actually need right now?
Not five minutes from now. Not tomorrow. Right now.
Go do that thing.
