How to Not Get Overwhelmed as a Nurse: The Science of Why Showing Up Is Breaking You Down

I’m gonna shout this one from the rooftops over and over! Showing up to work when you're already running on fumes is NOT dedication. It's your nervous system screaming for help.

I spent years thinking I was just "not cut out for it" or "too sensitive" when I'd snap at coworkers, get defensive over honestly nothing conversations, or fight back tears in the med room. Turns out, there's actual neuroscience explaining why trying to be everything to everyone at work - just showing up - can feel like a threat (inside your body).

And once you understand it, you can actually do something about it.

Why Your Body Goes Into Fight Mode at Work

Here's what's happening: When you show up depleted: physically exhausted, emotionally drained, running on coffee and cortisol - your autonomic nervous system doesn't register this as "being a team player." It reads it as danger.

Your body is smart. It knows you don't have the resources to handle what's coming. So it activates your stress response system (sympathetic nervous system). Fight or flight. Defend or shut down.

This is why you might notice:

• Snapping at colleagues over small things that normally wouldn't bother you

• Feeling instantly defensive when someone asks you a question or gives feedback

• That sensation of "turning shields on" the moment you walk through the hospital doors

• Irritability that seems to come out of nowhere

• Wanting to cry but having no idea why

You're not broken. You're not a bad nurse. Your nervous system is doing its job - trying to protect you from a perceived threat. And that threat? It's the constant demand for your energy when your tank is already empty.

The Three Boundary Habits That Actually Work

Forget bubble baths and gratitude journals. Yes they are fabulous but if they are not your thing, you don’t need to start. Here's are some quick habit tweaks to protect your energy at work:

Boundary #1: Be Choosy With Your Presence

Translation: You don't have to be at everything.

I know, I know. We've been conditioned to believe that being a "team player" means volunteering for every committee, saying yes to every shift swap, showing up to every staff meeting.

Why that method is slowly sucking your soul dry: Your nervous system has a limit to interactions. When you spread yourself too thin, you end up in survival mode everywhere instead of being actually present anywhere.

How to implement:

• Pick 2-3 areas where your being there actually matters: where you contributions are meaningful AND where it doesn't completely drain you

• Say no to everything else (or at least "let me think about it" instead of automatic yes)

• Stop treating every request like an emergency that requires your immediate response

Tell your inner voice to BTFU when you hear the idea that it is selfish. This is being strategic with limited resources. You wouldn't run a crash cart with a dying battery. Don't do it with yourself.

Boundary #2: The Energy Audit

Translation: Check in with yourself before agreeing to things.

Before you say yes to that extra shift, project, or meeting, pause and ask yourself:

• How am I actually feeling right now? (Not how I "should" feel but how do I actually feel)

• Will this drain me or is it doable?

• What do I need to do for me if I say yes?

During the thing itself, give yourself permission to check out mentally if you need to and it is a safe task for this. You can be physically present while protecting your energy. Not every moment requires your full engagement.

After, be honest: When I said yes to this thing it meant that I also said no to something else. What did it cost me? Was it worth it?

This is data collection about what works and what doesn't for YOUR body and YOUR capacity.

Boundary #3: Permission to Be Unseen

Translation: Sometimes the best thing you can do is fly under the radar.

This is hard for nurses because we've been socialized to believe our worth equals how much we give. But strategic invisibility is self-preservation, not selfishness.

Give yourself permission to:

• Not respond to every message immediately

• Skip the staff potluck (yes, even that one)

• Work your shift and go straight home

• Not volunteer for the extra project

• Keep parts of your life private

• Say "I'm not available" without explaining why

Being temporarily unseen allows your nervous system to calm down. It's not avoidance. It's restoration. Recognizing when you have the bandwidth to participate but more importantly when you don’t AND honoring that observation.

Why Consistency Beats Intensity (And Why That Matters)

Here's the not so sexy truth about not burning out: it's boring.

It's not the weekend spa trip. It's not the dramatic "I'm setting boundaries NOW" declaration on a Monday that you can't maintain by Wednesday. It's the small, daily, completely unexciting choices you make consistently.

This looks like:

• Five minutes of deep breathing in your car before shift instead of scrolling your phone

• Taking your full lunch break three times a week instead of never

• Saying "let me check my schedule" instead of automatic yes

• One boundary you can actually hold instead of ten you abandon

Your nervous system doesn't heal through intensity. It heals through rhythm, predictability, and repeated small acts of safety.

From a brain science perspective, you're literally rewiring neural pathways. That takes repetition over time, not perfection in the moment.

Start with one thing. Do it consistently. Build from there.

The Bottom Line

The system that demands you show up depleted is broken. Full stop.

But while we work to change that system (and we absolutely must), you have permission to protect your energy right now. Today. This shift.

Your worth as a nurse isn't measured by how much you sacrifice. It's measured by your ability to show up with enough in your tank to actually do the work AND not hate your life in the process.

You don't need to learn meditation or take up a wellness practice or buy into any particular philosophy. You just need to understand what's happening in your body and make different choices based on that information.

Pick one boundary. Practice it consistently. Trust that your body knows what it needs.

Sometimes the most radical thing you can do is refuse to abandon yourself while taking care of everyone else.